Tuesday, March 30, 2010
that its just not my time,
nothing going right nor wrong, just stuck in the middle, give it a jiggle, not today.
And that if worse really does come to worse, I don't think it'll matter anymore, and then I can be free, but wait its hailing out there. Feeling that its not absurd, that I just choose to look at it that way, but that I can't take back what I've scene, make all the nightmares run off to pester some other guy, my fellow man, fuck him.
And I've been feeling that my fellow man ain't really there to help, but to drain, and I've been feeling empty, so whats my use? Maybe they can all drain the contents of my wallet out, but that's it, no more after that. They could pillage my room I guess; you have no idea, how happy that would make me.
Feeling that it's all worth it, because in the end, I get to rest, but I'm not patient enough to wait, so in the mean time I'll occupy my mind with hate. Not the bad kind really, just that kind that generally pisses people off. "Oh where are my manners?" will soon be the phrase I utter after every action I make in front of my fellow people, and after every word and strand of words I put together addressed at anyone but me.
I also think that I need to save time for myself, to indulge in escapes to places where no one can find me, but accessible enough to where I can come and go as I please. Maybe I'll retire in that somewhere, but that's forever away. Maybe that will be my time, retirement. Until then, whoever's time this is, eat shit and die. ¶ 9:26 PM
nothing going right nor wrong, just stuck in the middle, give it a jiggle, not today.
And that if worse really does come to worse, I don't think it'll matter anymore, and then I can be free, but wait its hailing out there. Feeling that its not absurd, that I just choose to look at it that way, but that I can't take back what I've scene, make all the nightmares run off to pester some other guy, my fellow man, fuck him.
And I've been feeling that my fellow man ain't really there to help, but to drain, and I've been feeling empty, so whats my use? Maybe they can all drain the contents of my wallet out, but that's it, no more after that. They could pillage my room I guess; you have no idea, how happy that would make me.
Feeling that it's all worth it, because in the end, I get to rest, but I'm not patient enough to wait, so in the mean time I'll occupy my mind with hate. Not the bad kind really, just that kind that generally pisses people off. "Oh where are my manners?" will soon be the phrase I utter after every action I make in front of my fellow people, and after every word and strand of words I put together addressed at anyone but me.
I also think that I need to save time for myself, to indulge in escapes to places where no one can find me, but accessible enough to where I can come and go as I please. Maybe I'll retire in that somewhere, but that's forever away. Maybe that will be my time, retirement. Until then, whoever's time this is, eat shit and die. ¶ 9:26 PM
