start It's started and it probably will not die until I fix it or kill it. The blood has once again started to flow through my hardened veins and slight rhythmic beats can be detected using today's most sophisticated and sensitive Richter scale. This means life is about to start, all I have to do is start and stay on course. Tomorrow, I hope more than anything, will be filled with some sort of opportunity to put this new found life to use. If that happens, I cannot ask for more.  ¶ 12:00 AM 0 Comments

  Dry Air Every rain drop falls somewhere great
And settles somewhere calm where it eventually
Turns to vapor, flowing through the air
you and I breathe without hesitation, second thoughts.
We don't stop to be thankful that today, today the air
Is not dry. Today the air soothes.
But when those days come, when the air flows dry,
And sucks the moisture from our glistening lungs,
We cry, we cough, we wheeze, we feel like
It would be better to be a minnow swimming in a
Scum encrusted lake. We don't stop to be thankful that
This air, this barren, God forsaken air, is only being fair.
It gives us the oxygen and takes some comfort. Fair is fair,
And that should be enough.
But it's not.
And it never will be.  ¶ 1:31 AM 0 Comments

  I think you just made my insides hurt with what you did
Captured in time, there for me to see and everyone else too I guess
But their insides are just fine, mine on the other hand are
Bursting as we speak.
It's my fault for looking but I think I'm willing to die over
Curiosity.
Anyways, have a good one, and keep doing what you do,
That is if you never want my insides to get better.  ¶ 12:07 AM 0 Comments

  It's there. The feeling of getting another chance to start new when originally given one is so captivating that it sends the sharpest chills down my spine just thinking about it. It drowns me in gratitude and humility to know that I actually have the chance to change it all and try again. And what makes it even better is to know that the second chance wasn't given to me out of pity, but instead love. I might occasionally get a second chance at a test, or with a girl, but I never get to start brand new and have the teacher reteach me, and the girl forget everything about the past that ever happened. But with my life, with a whole lot of help, I can push that restart button. The guy with inextinguishable hatred and self destructive habit becomes a loving person who cares about himself and, believe or not, others. It feels so good to have a new lease on life, but what blows my mind, is that I have this, but I no where close to deserved it, or qualified for it. It was given to me. And it's there for everyone. All you have to do is give up and ask for it.  ¶ 12:51 AM 0 Comments

  Thirsty and Miserable That is exactly how I would describe my situation.  ¶ 6:44 PM 0 Comments

  I want to go out to Holy Fuck's Lovely Allen. Violently.  ¶ 1:33 PM 0 Comments

  Giving It isn't as simple as dropping off a package at the post office, regardless of how much time you've spend wrapping it up or even what's inside of it. And it isn't as pretty as placing a gift under the Christmas tree. It's more like having a syringe with a large gauged needle blindly thrust inside of you, drawing everything out faster than your body can adjust to the changing pressure, all by your own hand.  ¶ 11:37 PM 0 Comments

  300mg They only make me feel like hopelessness is natural and that the light at the end of the tunnel is only a figment of my sick and twisted imagination. They tell me that life can be good if I really want it to be, I just have to make it up and believe. Me, a compulsive liar, told to make something up, and believe it. Believe my personally created truth.....maybe if the dimes kept flowing through I could do that. But it's all dry over here.
It happens that I wake up every morning and try to convince God to let me skip today, and I make the empty promise of returning tomorrow with a smile on my face and a can fucking do attitude. Day after day of begging, and still I remain perched.
I'm sitting at the edge here, but unfortunately, that's as far as I go alone. Paralyzed in this state of unbearable mediocrity and no drive to leave it yet a laundry list of reasons why I should. I need a push. A little one, and I'll be going head first into God knows where, leaving the mundane at the top as I plummet into it all.  ¶ 11:31 PM 0 Comments

  Where is this all going?  ¶ 1:39 AM 0 Comments