300mg They only make me feel like hopelessness is natural and that the light at the end of the tunnel is only a figment of my sick and twisted imagination. They tell me that life can be good if I really want it to be, I just have to make it up and believe. Me, a compulsive liar, told to make something up, and believe it. Believe my personally created truth.....maybe if the dimes kept flowing through I could do that. But it's all dry over here.
It happens that I wake up every morning and try to convince God to let me skip today, and I make the empty promise of returning tomorrow with a smile on my face and a can fucking do attitude. Day after day of begging, and still I remain perched.
I'm sitting at the edge here, but unfortunately, that's as far as I go alone. Paralyzed in this state of unbearable mediocrity and no drive to leave it yet a laundry list of reasons why I should. I need a push. A little one, and I'll be going head first into God knows where, leaving the mundane at the top as I plummet into it all.  ¶ 11:31 PM