A day Getting up this morning, the same ravaging sensation of "pissiness" ran through my body. I imagine it being the same feeling that Lance Armstrong's teammate felt right after Lance stole the spotlight. Routine, no shaking things up, maybe pancakes, but then I have to clean up, yell a bit, drink coffee till my stomach can't hold any more, then leave. Watching the rpm's shoot up and down like a roller coaster as I turn the ignition on is the only thing I really look forward to. Not because I really enjoy driving, its more that its the first part of my day where I can actually focus on something. Something that really means nothing, not even me, but I still find the need to stare deeply into my dash as the light from the radio display catches my peripherals.
The drive down the canyon, almost makes me feel that the day is gonna be alright. And usually it is, but still I never seem to find that sort of fulfillment that I am really looking for. I am in short, sad. Sad about what? Well sad that nothing great happened that day. Is that being selfish? Too Demanding? Maybe. But still when I look back at the day, I can't pick out one instance that totally sucked, yet the day just seems so gray. I want adventure, but all I encounter is peace. A peace that I thought my life needed, but in reality, never fit me.
So what is adventure? I often ask myself what I want to do when the weekend comes close and I can never think of a thing other than eat somewhere and hangout someplace. And I come to my indecision because my mental process takes over from there and tries to determine where I will ultimately have the best time. But reason was not intended to solve the desires of the soul. All reason really does is keep me out of danger. Reason keeps me at peace.

I hate peace.  ¶ 8:17 PM